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Getting Well

by Shirley M. Holley

This is one of those days
When the sound of the ocean from our house nearly roars
Foggy and rainy this morning
Clear and breezy now
I savor each point in between
Going to the market was a benediction
I searched for I found
Each small item I had done without since last year
I will cook some dinner
Cauliflower fresh peas 
That I bought at noon by the side of the highway
Salmon I stopped for at the corner
Coffee I poured myself at the place by the bridge
I brought the cup home to have with lunch
I put many things in place
A cardboard box to carry up and down the stairs
A way to know where bills are
Where to keep sweaters and jeans
There is a powder you can get that keeps cut flowers 
     fresh for a long time
I dissolved some in the water that held the roses, 
     the deep red roses that I arranged 
What it takes to have such a substance, 
     to have it here, to know where it is,
     to have the intention and the energy to step out 
     to the porch and bring the container to the sink
To recover the will and feel the energy to take 
     all those many small steps
The will
The energy
I do not wear a watch anymore
I have not slept today
I am full of amazed thankfulness
I am getting well
I live in another world now
I walk a path between joyfulness and fear, gratitude and trauma
I want, I mean it is my imperative
To live the moment without judgment
No more questions about the worth of it
No more wondering if I am cultivating my field with care
I surrender to the joy of this precious moment